My Best Friend.....

My best friend died today. She wasn't much of a talker, but she let me know every day that she loved me. Each morning when I woke up, every day when I got home, and each night before I went to bed, I would get licks and nuzzles that told me I was special.

Journey was my Valentine's Day present from Danny in 2008. When we got her, she was 8 weeks old and only 4 lbs. She let us know immediately that she was going to have quite the personality. Our first night home with her, I had her outside every hour on the hour because I didn't want her to wake up the neighbors with her crying in the kennel. It tooks months, but we settled into a routine of Danny keeping her up late to play, and me getting up with her early to play some more.

She was so smart and always did so amazing in her training classes. Her favorite was "come when called." We would have to stand at the end of the aisle in PetSmart while the trainer held her on her leash. Then we would call her name, and she would have to leave all the treats and come to us. All of the other dogs would always stop at the treats, but not Journey. She just cared about being with me.

We took her with us everywhere. She went to Hailey's softball and soccer games, at times to work, and frequent trips back home. Journey was an amazing car rider. I know it wasn't safe, but she loved to curl up in my lap while I drove.

As a puppy, she was a wild woman. She ran everywhere and played constantly. I can't tell you the number of times that she woke us up with a squeaking ball. Within the last few months, she was starting to grow up and calm down more. She cuddled with me all of the time and was just the perfect size to curl up with on the couch. I loved waking up in the night to feel her curled up on the back of my legs.

She was a terror at times too.At last count, she destroyed: two pairs of glasses, three lamp cords, numerous toys, the cord for the cell phone and home phone, my Ipod headphones, all of my Old Navy flip flops for the 2008 season, tennis shoes, and an attempt on my cell phone. After eating those things, she would look up at you with that adorable face as if she was saying, "Oops. I didn't mean to." Luckily she had outgrown the chewing.

On an afternoon in March, I got out of the shower, and Journey's head was shaking in a weird manner. Then, about 10 minutes later, she lost control of her back legs and couldn't walk. We rushed her to the vet and found out that she had had a seizure. Dr. G explained that it was probable that it would happen again. He also explained that it could be from a seizure condition, or from a mass on her brain. We left there a little worried about what might come, but were not willing to spend the money on the doggy CT Scan.

In the last 6 months, Journey's seizure count was up to 4. We have also noticed that her personality was changing. She has been getting cranky and would bark at odd times. We also noticed her getting more and more aggressive at times as well. The vet said that this could be caused by either a mass on her brain, or seizure disorders also can cause aggressiveness. Today, she bit my niece who had done nothing to provoke her. Adi is fine and it didn't break the skin. However, Danny and I knew that next time it could be worse. I talked to Dr. G as well, and he also agreed that this wouldn't be an isolated incident and Journey's condition would only worsen.

Danny and I took her in. Because I knew she would freak out if I tried to leave her alone at the vet, we stayed and she died comfortably and happy on my lap. That's where she always wanted to be anyway. I think this was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I just buried my best friend.

No one knows the real reason we got Journey. I had been living in Kansas City for 8 months and I was terribly homesick. It was hard on me knowing that Danny had Hailey who always chose him, and no one picked me. I loved my little family, but I need someone here that was here for me since all of my family was 200 miles away. We picked Journey out online and she stole my heart immediately. We puppy shopped for quite awhile before we found her. The minute I saw her, I knew she was the one.

She has been the best dog and friend anyone could ever ask for. My heart is breaking into a million pieces tonight as I know I will never see her little smile again, or see her little butt shake because she is so excited to see me. I just saw Charlie pick up one of her toys and was angry that he dared touch it. My baby is gone. I know we did the right thing, but it doesn't help me know that she will never run through the backyard she was so happy in again. I dread going to bed tonight because she always jumped in bed and layed on my pillow first.

I miss my friend.

We love you Journey America Shaver and we can't wait to see you again.

Happy Birthday Adilynn!

Dear Adilynn Sariah,

Happy 1st Birthday my darling niece! I am so excited that I get to help you celebrate this big day. Most people are never lucky enough to be able to have their niece or nephew living with them. I am so blessed to have this opportunity.

I remember when your mommy called me and told me that I was going to be an aunt. I was so incredibly excited and told the news to everyone I could find. In my life, I have been lucky enough to have so many aunts who have helped me along the way. I couldn't believe that I was going to get to hold that honored title myself!

I waited and waited to find out whether I would have a niece or a nephew. When I found out what your name would be, I was even more excited. I immediately started stockpiling little presents and outfits for you. When Grandma told us that your Mommy was in labor, I couldn't stop thinking about you, little bean. I hated that you were so far away and I wouldn't be able to hold you right away. When you arrived safe and sound, I thanked God that He had given our family you. I knew that you would be such a joy for your Mommy and Daddy.

I sent Grandma and Papa over with some presents and even mailed you a few more. I wanted you to know right away that Aunt Jess loved you best; well after Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, and Papa.

When Mommy called and said that you were coming home for Christmas, I was so excited to share that holiday with you. Uncle Danny and I were so happy that you were able to be there for our wedding too! I think since Mommy and Daddy signed our marriage license, that made you the "Baby of Honor."

From the first time I held you, I knew you were special. You've always been funny around strangers, but after the first couple times of being around me, you were content to be with me. When you guys were back to visit this past April, one of the nights before you left, we went to eat Mexican. You were fussy with anyone who tried to hold you. I grabbed you though and walked around singing to you, and you nuzzled into me and fell asleep. It was so hard to let you go that night. Now that you are back in Missouri with your Mommy, I have treasured every piece of time I have had with you. Your legs are getting so strong, and you will be walking any time. Your smile is so sweet sometimes I almost get tears in my eyes. You are just so beautiful, Adi. When you reach for me to hold you, I swear my heart swells in my chest.

I know someday I will have more nieces and nephews. Each one will be so special to me because I will love them all for different reasons. Just know my darling girl that you made me an aunt for the first time. There will always be such a special place in my heart for you.

Adi in her walker.

Adi smiling up at her Mommy.

The Leimkuhler Family

I pray everyday for your Daddy, baby girl. I pray that he comes home safe for you and your Mommy. Just know that your Daddy is so brave and you should be so proud of him.

Part of me can't wait for you to get older. I can't wait to have you spend a weekend with us so we can spoil you rotten. Or when you are a teenager, for you to come for a week in the summer. Right now though, I am enjoying watching you change from a baby to your own little person. You are so funny and every day you somehow make me laugh.

Happy Birthday Adi! I love you to the moon and back!

Love,

Aunt Jess

Happy Birthday to Me :)

I turn 26 tomorrow. I know that is not old, and I'm not going to pretend that it is. However, it does feel strange. Five years ago, I was at work counting the minutes until I got off and could go buy some beer. Just in the last year my life has changed so much. Since my last birthday, I have bought my first new car, gotten married, and bought my first home. So many changes, but all good ones. It's just amazing to me sometimes that I'm not the same punk kid who loved karaoke, but instead am someone's wife and mother. I have a feeling thought that 26 will be my best year ever!

Loss

If you dislike the Kennedy's in any way, I suggest that you turn away from this post right now and come back another day.


If you like the Kennedy family, or are at least indifferent, stay awhile as I give my tribute to a family whom I greatly admire.


As a history major, I have always been a voracious reader of biographies and such. Reading is a way for me to live a life in the past. Be a hero, gain knowledge, slay dragons, and fight crime. I'm a dreamer, but not a doer. In second grade, I began my love affair with Abraham Lincoln. This included memorizing the Gettysburg Address at age 8, continued with numerous papers about him and my reading of several biographies. Eventually my passion dwindled and our affair ended.


In high school, my interests changed to the Roosevelts, and then to the Roosevelt women. This lasted approximately a minute as I found the Roosevelts to be a bit spoiled and whiny.

College came, and with it a book entitled Jackie, Ethel, and Joan. I fell head over heels for these three Kennedy spouses. I began reading everything I could about the Kennedy family. Biographies on the Kennedy men, the Kennedy women, and then their children. I never tired or grew bored with any knowledge I gained regarding this family.

I'm not someone who worshipped the Kennedy family. I don't have pictures of them on my wall, and I don't pretend that they didn't have faults. We all fall short of the glory of God. What is more important is what they gave me.


Through reading, I was on the PT 109 with Jack saving the lives of my countryman. While flying through the air with Joe Jr, I earned the Navy Cross and died for the USA. Kathleen taught me to dance, flirt, and win over the English gentry. With Rosemary, I felt the pain of being slow in a family where witty banter and knowledge meant everything. Eunice shared her compassion, Bobby his courage, Pat her insecurities, Jean her desire for a normal life, and Teddy the feelings of not quite measuring up.

I connected with the Kennedy family. Coming from a large, loving family myself, I could understand their fierce loyalty for each other. Their Catholic faith was the same as my own faith. Just reading about them, I was filled with "vig-ah." Encouraged by Jack to "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country," I have worked on Habitat Houses, volunteered in food pantries, and picked up litter on the side of the road. One of my favorite service projects was to serve food to the elderly in college. Because of Ted's constant battling in the Senate, I had access to student loans and had the priviledge of attending college. Teddy led the way for FMLA to be passed so that I can rest easy and know that after childbirth, I will not lose my job if I stay home for a couple of months with my baby. And If I lose that job for whatever reason, I know that my family will still have access to healthcare through Cobra. I am grateful to Eunice for starting the Special Olympics which afforded me the opportunity to be a "buddy" not once, but twice; Both whom touched my life in a special way. Bobby once quoted the Serpant in George Bernard Shaw's play Back to Methuselah, "There are those that look at things the way that they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"

I am saddened that only Jean is left. There was something magical knowing that so many Kennedys were still alive. Losing both Eunice and Teddy so close together is tough. Of the original set of Kennedy spouses, only Ethel, Joan, and Sargent Shriver still remember the magic and the charisma of this family.

Sometimes I wonder if such a family will ever appear in American history again. A family with such passion for public service, with a desire to better themselves. A family from humble roots, Catholic politicians when Catholics were somewhat feared, and a family who wanted to inspire people and change the world. However, I draw strength from the words that Senator Kennedy spoke at the 1980 Democratic Convention. "For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, our cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."

RIP Edward Moore Kennedy. I'm certain that Jesus and your family welcomed you home.

School Already?

So the old camera is still messed up, but this was taken on my cell phone. This is what Hailey has taken to referring to as her Hannah Montana outfit. She wore this her second day of school and definitely thought she was hot stuff. Danny and I are having a tough time thinking of her as a 2nd grader, but she is! She is adjusting so well to her new school and is making a ton of friends. We could not be more proud of her!

Both Hailey and I have recently changed our appearances somewhat dramatically. Hailey got about 6 inches cut off of her hair, and I got 8 inches. Granted, both are still less than the amount that my baby sister lost - see haircut. We are both still happy with the changes.

If you are on Facebook, you've probably seen that I have been working out a lot. Two weeks ago, I decided to join Curves and I feel great. My goal is to not only get healthy for myself, but to set a good example for Hailey. If I manage to finally motivate my Dad in the process, then I will be over the moon!

Danny and I painted our spare bedroom last weekend. It's now burnt almond, but looks pretty snazzy. He continually is such a gift to me and is so supportive of everything that I do. It's such a great motivator to come home from working out and to hear him say, "Babe I'm so proud of you." Plus he grills some mean mahi mahi.

I'm hoping to get the camera fixed here soon, so we will start being so much more interesting shortly. Keep the faith. And if you get a chance, come visit. I'm homesick...bring Gem City!

In My Life....

There are places I remember All my life, though some have changed, Some forever, not for better, Some have gone and some remain.

All these places had their moments, With lovers and friends I still can recall, Some are dead and some are living, In my life I've loved them all.

But of all these friends and lovers, There is no one compared with you, And these mem'ries lose their meaning When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before, I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more.

Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before, I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more. In my life I love you more.

I'm laying here cuddled up with Journey and I've been thinking all day about how incredibly blessed I am. From my birth, I have always been loved. Throughout any ups and downs in my life, I have always had someone's love to count on. People spend their lives searching for the kind of love that has repeatedly fallen in my lap. I am blessed.

Changes

I've been a bum about posting lately. That is primarily because we've been busy around the house. I hardly take the time to turn on the computer. When we get home at night, we are typically outside all evening unless there is any cleaning or laundry to do.

Our little house is shaping up quite nicely. We've done a ton of work outside, and Danny has put down a bunch of edges around all of the flowers we've planted with big rocks. I'm sorry there are no pictures of these, but blame Hailey for the malted egg in my purse that is stuck in my camera. Up front, we have dianthus, vincas, a hibiscus, and a couple of other things planted. In the back, we have impatians, geraniums, begonias, lantanas, hostas, and on the side of the deck, we tilled up a 350 square foot area that Danny edged in rock. We filled that in with a couple of bottles of mixed flower seeds just to see what would grow. Everything's doing pretty well back there...no blooms yet, and we don't know what is a weed and what is a plant yet so it looks a little wild. It's fun to watch it all grow though.

I have become an avid bird watcher. My favorite place to sit is on our bottom deck watching the birds and squirrels in our backyard. I have a suet feeder, a songbird feeder, and a finch feeder out there. I'm going to put a bird bath out there sometime soon. Right now is one of my favorite times to watch them because they are all so active! Just this morning, I've seen goldfinches, purple finches, sparrows, cardinals, a blue jay, and a mourning dove. We've had a couple of woodpeckers too. The squirrels may be my favorite though! I was just telling my mom that they look different than the squirrels back home. These are a chocolate brown with really thin gray tails and their tails have a black stripe down them. They wave them around like crazy too. Unfortunately Journey has made it her mission to rid our yard of the squirrels. She sends them running up tress every time and they will yell at her like crazy.

Hailey is so happy here. She plays outside with the neighbor kids every day. We register her for school on Monday, and even though she is nervous about changing schools, she is also excited about 2nd grade. Softball ended a couple of weeks ago, and she did very well. We spoke with her soccer coach from last year, and he feels she is ready for competitive soccer instead of the just for fun league she's played in previously. I'm working on finding a team for her now. This will be a big commitment for us as this means tournaments on the weekends and such, but I think it will be a lot of fun as well. Hailey is having her first little sleepover tonight too. Her friend Neely is coming over and we're going to make homemade pizza and watch some movies. It should be a really good time.

Last weekend, Danny and I painted the living room and got our new couch. The pictures were taken on my cell phone, so they aren't showing the colors well. Three of the walls are a chocolate brown color and one wall is a mocha. We also bought a big easy chair that is a mocha color.

Dad and Deb and the kids are coming over in two weeks for three days. We are really looking forward to it. While they are here, we are going to get the kitchen wall, hallway, and entryway painted. Once that is finished, I really think our house will look so much better. Just having the living room finished has made a huge difference.

The beginning of September will be bringing another big change in the Shaver household. My sister-in-law, Kim, and my niece, Adi, will be coming to live with us for a year. My brother-in-law, Tommy, is a W-2 in the military and flies blackhawks. They are currently stationed in Hawaii, and Kim doesn't want to stay there by herself for a year while her husband is away. She also doesn't care to move back in with her parents, which I don't blame her for at all. It's tough to move back home after you have been living on your own. She will be our live in baby-sitter too as she will be able to stay with Hailey before and after school which will save us both time and money. She does bring with her a St. Bernard and an English Mastiff however. It will be an adjustment for all of us, but we are very excited about being able to spend so much time with Kim and Adi. There is also a part of me that feels the need to pay it forward as Uncle Tim and Aunt Janet were so wonderful to house me during a tough transition in my life.

Right now though, I'm going to go steal the riding lawn mower and mow the backyard before Danny has a chance. That's right, we argue over who gets to mow the lawn. We both love doing it!