Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

Today has been hard for me. Not because of too much fun at a certain bachelorette's party, but rather instead because I didn't get to see my mom today. I also didn't get to see Hailey today. On this Mother's Day, I'm a Mom without a child and a motherless child. I realized how very much I miss my mom so I kind of needed to do a post for her.

Dear Mom,

On this day I spent a 4 hour drive back to Kansas City thinking about what it means to be a mom. Now that I'm parenting someone, I truly realize how hard it is. I question myself constantly wondering if I'm doing the right things. In my 25 years on Earth, I can honestly say that you did way more right than you have ever done wrong. In being a bonus mom, I see what kind of "real" mom I could have ended up with. I am blessed beyond compare because of things you have taught me. You never missed a ball game or a band concert. I never had to worry about not having something I needed for school, or clothes that fit. You worked countless extra weekends or were on call just so you had extra money for basketball camps, Young Life camps, or prom. Every phone call ends with an I love you, and I don't leave your house without hearing that too. Now that you are a grandma, you are still constantly helping me. Thank you so much for all of the clothes for Hailey. That is such a big help to us. Thank you for always making time to come visit. Sometimes I am so homesick for Illinois that I want to cry. You help me with that because I know that I won't go much more than a month without seeing you. Thank you for the trips to Kirksville when I was in college. You would drop everything to bring me medicine, an air conditioner, or anything else I happened to forget. I have never had to do without anything. If I can be half the mother you have been, I will be thrilled. There may be times where you question whether or not you've succeeded as a mom. I will tell you that any difficulties we may have had are all outweighed by the good that you have done. Thank you again Mom. Happy Mother's Day. I can't wait to give you a hug on Tuesday.

Love,
Jessi
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On another note, I won my first blog award!! Amy over at Bitchin Wives Club gave me some bloggy love in the form of this:



The stipulation is that I need to pass it on. So Kelly Klauser come on down! I want to pass this on to you for numerous reasons. You gave me my love for New Kids on the Block. I loved baby sitting your kids. You used to baby sit me. I thought you were the coolest older cousin. I also love your blog! So keep the love flowing!

4 comments:

  1. Hi Bonus Mom....what a nice post for your mom...Coming from a mother of boys, who don't seem to have the flowing words of gratitude that I really do know they feel, I am sure you made your mom's mothers day! You are an amazing young woman Jessica and you are a wonderful step mom to Hailey, and will one day be an incredible mother to your own child as well. There is not one among us that doesn't question if what we are doing iS right from time to time. Let your instincts guide you, take lessons you learned from your own mom, and acknowledge when you stubble....most of all LEAD WITH LOVE.

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  2. What an awesome letter to your mom. No doubt it will make her a little teary. It's amazing the deep contemplation you can achieve on a long car ride....and it's good for the soul.

    Thanks for the bloggy award....you are way too sweet. I kinda like being the cool older cousin. :)

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  3. You really are an amazing person and with that you are and will be an amazing mother to not only Hailey but any other children God blesses you with in life. Motherhood is all about taking the lessons we have learned and try to teach our children them. Sometimes they still have to learn them for themselves but remember to always be there for them when they are down just like your mom was for you. I am so glad that you were able to have a mother that was there for you then and is there for you now, because there are so many people out there that don't get that experience. Rock on Jessi's mom!!

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  4. Jessi-what a lovely blog to your mom. Believe me-all of us moms question what we do..and that never ends. We also sometimes would like a "do over" but life doesnt often give you that choice. You are wonderful to Hailey-she is a mighty lucky girl, having a mom, and a Bonus Mom too!

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